why do i still miss you. why do you even come to mind anymore. even if its for a moment, you’re still there. fuck you. you forgot about me within a second and i’m still have you on my mind at least once a day. not every second, but enough to have me be so pissed off that i just want to scream. we were best friends. and now i don’t know you. i know everything about you, but i guess in the end, i know nothing at all. i sometimes miss talking to you, sometimes i miss having you, and sometimes i just miss you. it sucks how even though i’m so much better now then i was back then, you still are there. i hate how all that time meant so much to me to give you respect that i guess i wasn’t special enough to receive. i guess that’s one of the things that kills me the most. i just wish i could erase all the memories we had together. you know what sucks? i don’t remember a extraordinarily happy memory without you. fuck you. even though i barely even think about you, i hate how i do every day. maybe for a second, or maybe for even 10 minutes, or even hours; you’re there. i am so much better now, but it’s just whenever you come to mind is when i feel the worse in the day. it sucks how i don’t think, even years from now, anyone can replace what you meant to me in my life. but i’ve already been replaced within a couple of months. i guess i just meant that little to you in the end. goddamnit, i want to erase everything. sometimes. i wish i never met you. sometimes. what happened to you? where did my best friend go? i don’t remember the last time i talked to you, and from talking to you almost every day for years, it’s just so weird. you meant so much to me, but i guess i’m just fucking stupid.. like you said i was. whatever, it’s not like you’ll see this. you’d get the wrong idea if you did. i miss you, i want to talk to you, but i don’t want you back in my life unless my old best friend is back. not even the boy i had a relationship with, my best friend who i could just talk to about anything and be completely myself around. but he’s dead and gone and never coming back. whatever, this doesn’t matter. i don’t get why i even wrote this, i guess just a way to get my thoughts out… it’s not like you’ll see this. i just don’t understand why i still miss you. i miss my best friend.